Sunday, 18 January 2015

Operation Man Code (or, missed fights)

...AKA a Missed Fight, episode 1.

This all began with a connection to J121006 (C4 Pulsar) and spotting a shittily set-up medium tower owned by retards. Sometimes the spidey-senses start tingling and you know you're onto capital C Content the moment you read a corp bio and look around, put your nose to the air and smell idiots. Plus, this Seven of Nine corporation's neighbours were known to me from a C2 Red Giant. So there was a nest, it was full of deformed wasps with mental handicaps, and so we set about beating it with sticks.

We RF'ed the POS, and one of the owners signed on. Chatlog (condensed and abridged) below;
---------------------------------------------------------------  Channel ID:      -66394998
  Channel Name:    Group Chat (MRS IVANA HUMPALOT, Rudolf Miller)
  Listener:        Trinkets friend
  Session started: 2015.01.14 12:57:13
Trinkets friend > o/ I hear you have a problem
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > just hiding from code and now I cant get home
Trinkets friend > That sounds like a bit of a pickle.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > I am just asking to fly back to my POs
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > code are really dicks
Trinkets friend > We are disinclined to help you on account of it will be a formative lesson for you
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > people who cant fight there own level of skill
Trinkets friend > We have all manner of noobs in our corp
Trinkets friend > One guy is 2 weeks old as of yesterday. He's died a bunch of times.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > I am sure you do, lol 2007? look around big man, oldest in ours is 6 months
Trinkets friend > So I don't see why I should be swayed by your claims that we are picking on unskilled people. This is a learning opportunity.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > dying is fine, but i am just asking to let me fly back in a POD
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > nothing else
Trinkets friend > Well, you have me there. When I was 6 months old wormholes didn't exist and I had to haul from Jita uphill both ways and I didn't go into a C4
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > not sure what all the C numbers mean, just a place to hide for a few weeks till this code thing blows over
Trinkets friend > Ah, but if we let you in, we would be committing a strategic idiocy. One thing all my years of expertise have told me is don't believe everyone's sob story, and don't lose hole control.

MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > OMG, really , you cant be this slow
Trinkets friend > I am not. I understand what you are saying, and I am saying no.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > look at any kill board thingy you can
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > and another code dick, lol. I will just add you to the list of people in the game that cant be a man ever and help out
Trinkets friend > If you want advice dealing with CODE, I can give you plenty of that. One piece is do not go up to C4 space to hide out if you cannot hack the level of skill and expertise present here.
Trinkets friend > Mate, one thing you're getting wrong is that I am helping you out. Not by letting you back in to defend your POS. That's asking me to be fucking dumb.

MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > I doubt you advice is worth much as your actions show you to be of lower level of a human, but ty
Trinkets friend > I'm helping you out by exposing you to the realities of w-space and EVE gameplay in it, which is damn cut-throat.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > lol, I noticed you did not seem to mess with the bigger guys, just the smaller ones
Trinkets friend > Like your friends in J121006?
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > seems to me once again, the players do not seem to like a chalenge, only what they know is something or one that cant fight back
Trinkets friend > On the contrary, this is all designed to get a fight from your mates. But it's going to be on our temrs, not theirs.

MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > lol, I will have my mighty 6 month ceo fly his best cruiser after you, lol.
look at our war history. lol look at my kills or any kills. MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > OMG your funny as fuck now, is everyone so paranoid, lol. 

Trinkets friend > The way you talk, I'm amazed you have any.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > lol see much of a co op thing there?

Trinkets friend > No, just whining.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > miners. indy. lol. 

Trinkets friend > So go mine in nullsec, idiot.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > Trinkets friend small man that can not fightan even fight
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > you are truly like code, just grivers. just people that can not fight a chalenge, but think the game is about killing small people

Trinkets friend > So your escape from CODE idea seems to have failed, then.
sadly so 

Trinkets friend > What's your next plan? Begging in Jita? Unsubbing for 6 months?
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > well hopefully I can find anothe small place with no locater things to hold out. these guys were very nice, said stay here just dont take the blue loot
Trinkets friend > it's called lowsec, you dolt. Go to Airidia, deep-ass lowsec. Or go to nullsec, mine out there, it's safe as fuck.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > locaters do not work in low sec?
Trinkets friend > They work, but CODE doesn't chase anyone 20+ jumps to the arse end of lowsec.
Trinkets friend > Find your way to Solitude.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > lol, they went from jita to amarr for us, because we would not pay them there 1 billion minning permit
Trinkets friend > Be aware of local, always mine in an ore anomaly, off the warp-in.

Trinkets friend > Mate, jita to Amarr is the ONLY place they go. I know this because I've been playing the game longer than you. Stop being a dense piece of ass lint.

MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > 5 weeks od decs so far
Trinkets friend > So quit corp. Job done. Your corp is a piece of shit, get your amazeballs CEo to start a new corp. Better yet, find a better CEO, one who knows wtf he's doing. You can only blame yourself, mate, for being a shithead in a shit corp with a shit CEO
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > wow, talks like a man also, lol, sorry unlike you  my life is more then this game, so i doubt I will put 5 years into it, like having a husband and kids takes time
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > this from a child that gets his kicks from killing a POD, lol
Trinkets friend > I'm 38 years old.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > OMG that is even worse, no wife maybe?
Trinkets friend > Nope, got one of them.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > what you play 10 hours a day? 12?
Trinkets friend > 23
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > wow, so the comp is better then her? lol
Trinkets friend > It's fine, mate. Tears sustain me.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > hopefully she has a side man to take care of real life while you live in here
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > I i am laughing my butt off at you
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > at least code has some sort of hounor here and there
Trinkets friend > Good, then at least this is an enjoyable experience for you. Right?
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > it is, I hate it your a dick, but the sad state of you life is funny
Trinkets friend > So, who taught you guys to set up a POS? Dr Seuss?
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > to say anyone in the game is a loser ( they have to live here ) like you, sorry we dont have the time to invest you do, life takes that time.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > POS set up? well we are learning and dont have a lot of stuff
Trinkets friend > No, really? Soon to be have less stuff.
MRS IVANA HUMPALOT > lol, thats ok, i would reather lose it then know i needed a break from a man with no life. I thought you might be normal, like I said I notice you cant fight any real targets or threats, so you went for the nobodies
Trinkets friend > You know an awful lot about me, for having just met me. Are you psychic? You should be able to figure out where your wormhole entrance is then.

So, our tear tanks replenished, we set in for a 23 hour reinforce (stront is hard to come by, it seems) and watched the batphone assemble. Their neighbors and co-tenants in J121006 were Astral Inferno, and our reinforcement of IVANA's POS prompted them to beef up their defences on their large Caldari....with 600M in faction laser guns and EWAR.

We also got to see who their batphone was; Skeleton Crew and a few other disastrous blow-ins and try-hards straggled in, put up small refuge POSs and generally dicked about in bombers, asteros and the like. it seems Operation Man Code was afoot, and a good fight could be had with a bit more trolling, regular combat probing of their hole every 1-2 hours to keep them paranoid, etc.

Come H-hour we assembled a 14 man fleet based around one Rattlesnake, a couple of Gilas, VNI's and 2 Basis for logi. I had 16 toons confirmed online inside J121006, and we left the C247 static open, but mass reduced, expressly to actually get a fight. Skeleton Crew brought a gang of 10-12, with 4 Gilas, 1 basi, 1 osprey, a Loki, Maulus and assorted crap to the C3 static in addition to the 16 toons inside, who were in (as best we could tell) 2 Osprey, Falcon, 2 Myrmidons, Tengu, 4 Drakes, 2 Maulus and a billion little fucks in probers, bombers, etc.

We faced off across a critted C247, outnumbered up to 2:1 with our own batphone consisting of 1 Sabre and 1 Loki in the lowsec off the C3. We brought them in, and I made the call to #YOLO the fleet out to meet the Skeleton Crew gang.

The decision was to get a fight, and kill the cavalry outside the hole, versus button up and not get a fight inside the hole. I was getting the impression that even with local superiority in numbers inside J121006, access to (presumably) innumerable battleships, logi reships, whatever these clowns wanted, they hadn't brought a fight and therefore would not.

So we jumped, cruisers first, and one of our Basilisks ended up trapped inside the C4 with the other outside in the C3, sitting in the middle of a 10 man gang with logi support. That was sub-optimal to say the least, so we bailed to the lowsec and the Skeleton Crew guys let everything else warp off bar the Basilisk because obviously their orders were to primary the logi...not to actually bubble up and point all the things.

So, a fucking good fight was missed by a shit roll of the dice on jumping the hole. However, karma came and paid a visit later, with Shadoo Cartel hot-dropping us as we left...confusing the Skeleton Crew gang for being backup for our Drake, resulting in a ganked Gila and Loki.

In the end, had our two Basilisks got through, I am convinced we would have rinsed them. Maybe next time.


  1. You know, I have been following you for a while, not that you care, but every post was a decision... to come back and read the next or just give up... "...tear tanks replenished..." for someone who claims to be 38, it's like reading stuff a 15yo with a hard on against the whole world would write...

    This one decided me...

  2. For someone with a name which sounds like a druid fucked a vegan pumpkin pie, I don't really care if you don't appreciate my blog.

  3. Don't listen to the haters Trinket!
    You the Croc!


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