Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Captain Planetology

There is apparently a skill to ganking PI haulers.

First off, one must understand planets. Planets are distributed randomly in systems, including in wormhole systems. Some systems have a selection of everything (J144218, for instance, or our C4 with a plasma). Others lack a wide variety and may, eg, have only one of a particular kind.

Second, you must understand d-scan. Since the advent of tracking cameras this is easy-mode. Nevertheless, you need to be on d-scan when probing or lurking or just dicking about quaffing vino while waiting for something to crop up in Militia chat.

Whilst lurking a C2 (3 holes down the whore train) I was probing for the 0477 and B274, having come in a D382. Nothing presented on d-scan so I launched ze proabs and was hard at it. Move, probe, d-scan. Move, probe, d-sca...oh, hello badger mark II. Immediately move probes 30+ Au out of system, probe, d-scan for that POS I didn't bother.

Oh, fuck that. Just turn off 'use overview settings'and inspect ze planets. 3 Storm, 2 barren, 1 Temperate.

The key here is, you fucking warp to the temperate immediately. Why? Numbnuts the PI alt is doing his PI. He has 3 Storms and 2 barrens to choose from. That's a lottery. But if he wants to turn his poo into gold, he needs to drop past the Temperate.

So I warp at 10km (avoiding decloak) and he warps at zero...and is 30km away. Curse your fat-ass fatness, fucking customs orifice.

In this situation, you bank on them not having finished their ISk farming yet, and click 'look at'. You watch where the dude is aligning and align there, too. Wait for them to hit warp, and follow at 10km. Decloak 500km out and you land with 0 seconds of decloak targeting delay. Heat the point and AB and burn in for a bump.

The key is to get a decent bump, and know how to bump competently. This is why you land 10km away. This is why you land uncloaked - haulers are fat and won't get to warp before you nudge their carcass into the POCO. Often they pack stabs, and lots of them, hence the bump. You can handle one stab, as you are using a Cheetah of Doom (Tm) (you better be) and have a scram. But often they pack multiple, so you need bumps.

Then, its a matter of mashing d-scan. Often this is the time to warp your rape gang in if they have mates in system, as they will be shipping up to Tengus and Scorpion Navy Issues (oh, trust me, they do)  to lay pain on your Cheetah. You need to see them coming in, so you can break off and save the Cheetah alt. Or drop point to latch on to the Tengu, as I normally do. They don't expect that shit.

Either way, hauler is fucked, the cavalry rides into Custer's Last Stand situation, and you have hilarious.

Tonight, I had everything in place except the rape gang, the Tengu's to gank, and the cavalry/custer sitch. Murdered a Badger Mk II in record time (surprise, magnetar) and then lurked the hisec for his replacement Badger. he fitted stabs and I didn't get a decent bump, so he escaped and struck up a convo:

Patience d'Eath > Not this time!
Patience d'Eath > :)
My Alt> You packed stabs
Patience d'Eath > yup
Patience d'Eath > 3x
My Alt > Guess you really like your planet poo
Patience d'Eath > lol!  yes, yes I do.  keeps my mains in plex
My Alt > I wouldn't rig a PI hauler, tbh
My Alt > If you do PI right, you don't need to haul much m3
Patience d'Eath > too many trips otherwise.  that was the first time this alt's ever been popped in two years in here.
Patience d'Eath > and I make enough in a day to cover the costs so I guess it's a risk/laziness ratio
My Alt > People are slack on d-scan. Even before auto-tracking I can get a scram on most.
My Alt > True. Its not like I'm going to stop you from running PI. Just something to do to pass the time.
Patience d'Eath > I agree, but after a while of flying aroiund and never seeing anyone you become complacent
My Alt > (scram and bump works best ofc)
My Alt > Heh, on my main, I lurk prolific PI whores in an arty panther. Stabs don't work vs alpha.
Patience d'Eath > In your case, d-scan is higher on your list because you're hoping to run into someone.
My Alt > Well, off to lowsec again, and then to bed. 07
Patience d'Eath > cheers, and fly safe
My Alt > ditto. see you in two years, maybe!
Patience d'Eath > lol!

So there you have it, people. Alts killing alts over planet shit, and no one does it right, such that a dude can run a PI alt for 2 years and never even have someone make a pass at him. But now you know the method.

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