The Fifth Column

SWIFT keeps getting wardecs. I think it is partly to do with the exposure they get via running the MATE roam, talking on the EvVE Downunder podcast every week, and generally being an Alliance.

Wardecs for wormhole corps are basically a waste of time for the aggressors, unless the have a way in to the wormhole or a spy inserted, etcetera and so forth. Anyone who has half a brain and a spare couple of weeks of character training can and indeed should prepare an out of corp hauling alt, and use this little shitheel to haul in fuel, ammo and victuals for their POS. This means you can efficiently hole up in a wormhole for a week, month, or even longer, without ever giving the aggressor a kill.

However, due to the poor state of wormhole excitement at the moment, SWIFT is actively engaging their various aggressors. Due to being a trollish douche and a friend, BUGRY is coming along to ensure that hisec remains a lame place to fight. This is of course despite the fact I suck at station games.

Phase one of the douchery was probing down the aggressor's boosting Tengu at his safespot, allowing SWIFT to gank it. Sadly, what was thought to be an ASB loki baiting a Prophecy on station turned out not to be, and got capped and died. This nominally put the aggressors ahead in the war, but it's only day one.

Phase two was deployed last night, which involved using another BUGRY toon, this time to provide neutral bumps. Because if you are a highsec wardec corp, you of course sit at zero on a gate and don't move. The WT's had 2 bricked up Proteus and 2 Guardians. Once the bump was effected, SWIFT jumped in and began the pew pew, and the WT's warped in their Guardians...at zero.

Of course, that didn't go so well due to an Armageddon on field, and it also didn't help that as soon as the Guardian began bleeding structure some douche suicided a Catalyst onto it.

Q.Q began in Local, accusing us of being neutral RR. Because of course, they can't tell when people bring their own logi cruisers. This is also piqquant coming from a guy who puts his alt into corp 20 minutes before the engagement, and then loses the alt's Guardian because he warps it in at zero.

Believe me, there will be neutral logi at some point but old TF has a whole shitload of dirty tricks up his sleeve to trial yet, and going for neutral Logi is well down the list.

The problem, of course, is that the wardec in hisec recipe is fairly simple, even considering there's a chance of neutral logi, which we'll be ready for if the foe employs its own.

You just use a pair of bricked, DPS Proteus, a pair of Guardians, and play the jump gate or docking timer crap and you reasonably ought not to lose as long as you stay homosexually close to your escape hatches. However, it will be interesting to see if they spread the war to BUGRY eventually or can put up with the shenannigans.

In the end, on the way back from teabagging these poor fools, I landed on our highsec entry and saw an Orca sitting there. He jumped in, depite my Anathema sitting there, and I yammered loud and incredulously enough to get the fleet back to destroy him. Another round of Nishin Maru Employee Of The Month.

Then of course, it was time for the bad jokes.
Dex: "Why did he have the compression array?"
TF: "Well, he was trying to crush the hole."

*rimshot*