Katamari On The Swing

When we moved holes I vetoed Pulsars. A few people said nothing in a way which said they had some opinions on the matter, but right now all serious fights in Pulsars above C1's (which are so weak it's kind of irrelevant) have basically the same script.


Side A invades/sieges for content.

Side B ships into Rattlesnakes and Gilas and Basilisks.

Side A ships into Rattlesnakes and Gilas and Basilisks.

Side B batphones for more Rattlesnakes, Gilas and Basilisks.

Side A batphones for more Rattlesnakes, Gilas and Basilisks.


It goes one of two ways from here. One option is that blueballs are declared, and no one gets a fight because the fight on hand is just too colossally stupid to entertain doing, or diplomatic efforts are deployed in order to avoid the fight that started out fun enough but is now involving every bored retard with a computer and no sense of proportion.

The other option is that someone decides to fight hashtag YOLO hashtag fuck it, hashtag pull your implants before you go into battle dot com.

This was the choice yesterday when we got batphoned by Haywire to assist them in their content eviction of some terribad scrublords from a C3 Pulsar with D845. This is generally known as "an invitation to every cunt to blob the fuck out of you with Gilas" and thusly every cunt didst respond to the batphone.

We were about 40 toons Vs 72;
11 Rattlers vs 6
4 shield bhaals vs 0
0 Scorpion vs 1
0 Rokhs vs 4
6 Basilisks vs 11
1 Scimi vs 0
7 Gilas,vs 15
0 Ishtars vs 2
1 Blackbird each
0 Falcon vs 1
0 Rooks vs ~2
Plus a random assortment of other crap on each side.

Blueballs were chosen to be avoided, and the butcher's bill came down at about 17 billion. Goodfights to Low Class. Not sure about the rest.

The problem with Pulsar meta is that it's rather stale. Rattlers, Gila and Basis on each side, what do you do? There are few innovations.

Low Class used smartbombing Rokhs because, well, every cunt is going to be using drones. The effectiveness of this was arguable, and should have been negligible if we had deployed properly off the hole with sentries as was the plan. So they bombed our drones and sat on the hole, we launched more drones, and that was that; they were the Rokh to our scissory drones, because it's pretty easy to counter a drone meta when everyone flies Rattlers and Gilas.

Secondly, EWAR was key. I would say logi was key, but even with 11 basi's on the field our wing of Snakes was busting their logi pretty easily. Of course, with so many Rooks on the field, our Logi was pretty ineffective (read: totally jammed). Again, it's not really hard to figure out what jams to load when it is an 11 vs 6 Basi fight. Our 5 Curses weren't enough, with jammed out logi, to dent their cap chain. Neither were our Bhaals, because they were immobilised by the huge amount of tackle which was on them at zero. So in a brawl like this I guess the lesson is to not rely on capping out the logi - better to damp them or Falcon fight.

So that is basically every single Pulsar eviction in the history of EVE in the past 2 years, or coming up, ever. He who batphones the most Gilas and Rattlers wins. There's got to be some variety to be had here, but I can't figure out what it could be, given the paucity of options - especially now the Ishtar has a weaker shield tank than previously. I mean, who's going to pass up 340K EHP Rattlers for...any other battleships? Who's going to pass up Gilas for anything else?